WIDER READING | THINGS THAT 'ARG' FROM THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX'S FACE LOOKS LIKE

Or, FINKPOINT SHOWS HIS SENSITIVE SIDE

The best thing about The Only Way Is Essex is, without question, the enigmatic Arg - the guy with a nickname in a show in which nobody else has a nickname. Indeed, having a nickname apparently makes one ineligible when it comes to Only Way Is Essex publicity photographs, as the following would suggest:

Ridiculous. Anyway, the best thing about Arg is the existential questions he inspires, one or two every episode. Why 'Arg'? What on earth does he get out of being friends with Mark, a sickening twazuk who's 'best friend in real life' is cancer-publicity-grabbing casual rapist, Jack Tweed? 

Also, does he sing Sinatra songs in Indian restaurants for a living? Und so weiter. Oh yeah, and one other thing: why does he put all that nasty stuff in his hair? It makes him look like...like...what does it make him look like? After the runaway success of Things That Benedict Cumberbatch's Face Looks Like a couple months ago, I, Finkpoint, present a new series of posts attempting to break down poor Arg's weird little face. Thus celebrating the one ordinary-looking human being in a programme full of illiterate orange porno aliens. We'll start from the subtle and work outwards, and so without further ado, I give you episode one: occasionally-good Spurs midfielder, David Bentley...

BENTLEY

 ARG

THE ONLY WAY IS FINKPOINT