Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Gonzo | Introduction | The Legend of Gonzo

Week 17 | Gonzo | Contents

Tuesday | Poetry | Two Thumbs Up
Wednesday | Fiction | The Professor and I 

Woman Found in Hunter Thompson’s Cesspool

“Miss Snap, wearing only a pair of men’s boxer shorts and a polka-dotted purple kerchief tied around her chest, told reports who had gathered at the scene that Dr. Thompson held her captive in the cesspool, a dry cement pit measuring 15 x 8 feet, and after repeatedly “indulging his perverted appetites,” had forced Miss Snap to write his biography.
“He made me compose this revolting record of human calamity,” said the red-haired pavologist, who is 5 feet, 3 inches tall, 106 pounds, and a former Miss Indiana. “It’s all here,” she said, removing a thick manuscript from a broken leather case, “the history of the biggest degenerate of the 20th century.”
Miss Snap, who said she has not slept in many days because of “seal bombs being dropped in the cesspool,” declared that she was giving the manuscript to James Harringman, an acquaintance of Dr. Thompson, to be edited, and added: “And then the world will fairly call him a hog.”

“Dr Thompson, the inspiration for Uncle Duke in the “Doonesbury” comic strip, told reporters that “Miss Tishy Snap is an inebriated nymphomaniac.”

The Life of Hunter Stockton Thompson

an Account of His Miraculous Existence
From the Time of his Birth to the Present in
Chronological Order

The Seduction and Torture
Of His Own Biographer

The Whole Exhibiting a View of Debauchery
And Felony Never Seen in a Literary Man
The Marquis de Sade

Laetitia Snap

3:00 p.m. rise
3:05 Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills
3:45 cocaine
3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill
4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill

Did you hear about the time Hunter Thompson ran for sherrif of Placcid Aspen?

His manifesto consisted of the following three principles.

1.    Sod the street at once
2.    Change the name ‘Aspen’ by public referenced to ‘Fat City.’
3.    …Intall on the courthouse lawn, a bastinado platform and a set of stocks – in order to punish dishonest dope deals in a proper public fashion….
-The Aspen Times, political ad, September 17,1970

A victory would have been a landmark on the political landscape. He claimed to represent freedom, but his demographic spread to the weird, wasted and wonderful – a campaign so strange that it might just win.

His main contender to the badge was a man named Carol Whitmer. Whitmer was the old-school crew-cut kind of guy. Preceding a series of scheduled debates between Thomspon and Whitmer, HST shaved off all his hair so he could refer to Whittmire as “my long-haired apponent”.

Marks, certainly, for style.

The man who ran the bar where Hunter ran his campaign from named Michael Solheim, was later quoted to say “It was very clse. And we would have won it if we had taken the thing a drop more seriously”.


Glen Ricks…………..….171
Carol Whitmire………...1533
Hunter Thompson……..1065


Dr. Charles Williams….1836
William Noonan……….910

-The Aspen Times, Novemeber 5, 1970

Aspen Rejects Bid of Hippy Candidate For Sheriff’s Office
“If we can’t win Aspen, we can’t win anywhere”
- Hunter Thompson, quoted in the New York Times, Novemver 5, 1970

I suppose it is somewhat like green party winning a seat at Brighton, if it was going to happen, it would have happened there, the only difference is, the green party actually won.

No doubt he was a great writer, but what always troubles me with the legend of Hunter S. Thompson is he lived his own myth. He had a hat made from unborn wolf – reportedly an entire litter.

So we shall let the reader answer the question for himself. Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?
-Hunter Thompson (written at age 16)

-Hunter Thompson (written at age 67)

(1) Miss Laetitia Snap actually gave the manuscript to Jean E Caroll, this is the introduction to the subsequent book. Well worth a read.

James Harringman

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